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Infidelity vs Adultery: What Are the Differences?

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Did you know that infidelity and extramarital affairs are in the top 3 reasons for divorce or break-ups? These are problems that are difficult to overcome, even for the most committed couples.

Many people conflate infidelity and adultery, but the two aren’t always the same. We’re here to talk about the difference between infidelity vs adultery just in case you wanted to know the difference.

Read on for adultery and infidelity explained.

What Is Adultery? 

Believe it or not, adultery used to be a crime that, in some cases, was punished by death (or another form of capital punishment). While this is no longer the case, it’s still technically a crime in several states.

Adultery is an extramarital sex act. The only person technically committing adultery is the person who is married (unless both people are married and having a mutual affair), but often the unmarried party is also considered adulterous.

“Sex act” here is a vague term. Most of the time, it refers to any type of sex act, but some people may specify penetrative sex.

Adultery is still adultery regardless of whether or not the couple is monogamous. In other words, even if the extramarital sex act doesn’t break the boundaries of the relationship, it’s still considered adultery.

While adultery is still a crime, it’s not really punishable. That said, the non-adulterous partner can use it against the adulterous partner during a divorce.

What Is Infidelity?

Many people confuse adultery and infidelity, but there are subtle differences between the two.

Adultery has to include at least one married partner. While infidelity can happen between married partners, it can also happen between partners of any type regardless of the duration or legal status of their relationship.

In other words, you can’t commit adultery when you have a boyfriend, but you can commit adultery if you have a husband.

Infidelity also includes anything that breaks the boundaries of the relationship. In some cases, “adultery” may not break those boundaries while forming an emotional, romantic relationship with another person will.

Polyamorous or otherwise open couples can still experience infidelity. These relationships still have boundaries and parameters, even if they aren’t conventional.

It does not matter how “minor” the infraction seems to others. Infidelity can include (among other things):

  • Going out to dinner with another person
  • Extramarital sex acts
  • Kissing someone on the cheek
  • Having an emotional affair

Only one of these things would be considered adultery, but because they could all break the boundaries of a relationship, they’re all infidelity.

Infidelity is a vague term that will vary depending on the relationship in question. Surviving infidelity (in a relationship sense) is difficult, and not everyone is interested in doing so. Infidelity is grounds for a break-up or divorce, but some couples choose to power through it.

Infidelity vs Adultery: Different but Similar

Infidelity is an umbrella term that can (but doesn’t always) include adultery. When you’re thinking about the difference between infidelity vs adultery, remember that adultery always includes an extramarital sex act. Infidelity is any boundary-crossing behavior.

For more interesting articles about relationships and more, visit our other articles.

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